Who did Billy Mays play for?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
