We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
