No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
