I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
