Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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