Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
3pm strippers are depressing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
