is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
