My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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