just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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