I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
