I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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