He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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