Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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