singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
did you just send me my own nude
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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