i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
