Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
