mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
