i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
