my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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