im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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