wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
