How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
