This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
