The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
