She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
