i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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