we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
