feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
worst night to have a conscience
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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