woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
