So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
