i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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