ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
