I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
