; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
