You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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