your parents love me but you hate me
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
