you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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