Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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