The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
