I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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