we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
