About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
false alarm. still invincible.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
