I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
