I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
