I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
