Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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