and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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