your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
