Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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