Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
