Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
