nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
